Taking Inventory

 When I made the decision to retire/take a sabbatical/leave work temporarily, I also made a conscious decision to work on my tendency to plan too far ahead.  This was not easy and is still an ongoing work in progress.  I find that I am better able to catch myself in the act of planning and slow my mind down, but I am also aware that I will likely never be able to completely let go of this tendency.

The reason I wanted to stop with all of the future-gazing is because I didn't want to miss out on the here and now that I was experiencing.  I wanted to make sure that while I was taking this time to grow, I was able to truly enjoy the process.  The transition from working in a full-time career to becoming a student was strange to navigate and took a few weeks before I felt like I had any semblance of a routine or rhythm to my days.  Slowly but surely, I did find myself falling into a familiar and comfortable way of spending my days that felt both rewarding and rejuvenating, balancing school with other pursuits.

While I was able to find a way to fill my cup, what I have come to realize is that I had been taking this new way of living for granted.  I knew I was much happier than I had been in quite some time, but I wasn't really noticing why.  My days were filled with many of the activities and interactions that put a smile on my face, but I hadn't taken the time to really notice and appreciate them.  Time to take inventory.

Becoming intentional about how I was moving through my days was the first step.  Instead of simply following my new routine, I began to witness how I felt before, during, and after the different pieces of my day.  From the feeling of opening that comes with my morning yoga flow to the sense of accomplishment that follows a daily weights routine, I made the choice to start noticing more.  And I was blown away.  

What I came to realize was how rich my life has become, due in part to so many of the small moments that fly under the radar.  The shared conversation with folks at my favourite bakery who know my order inside out.  The giggles and laughter shared during a morning dip with new friends who feel like I have known them for years.  The joy that comes with starting a new job that feels like it aligns perfectly with who I am and what is important to me.  Hugs and conversations with my son who always brings a new perspective to the table when we speak.  The freedom and gratitude that comes from being able to move my body through the world in many different ways.  The exhilaration that accompanies learning something new and introducing play back into my weeks.  All of these magical components, so vital for well-being and yet so easily overlooked.

I am grateful for the nudge to take inventory and for the outcome of this exercise.  And yes, milk will still get spilled.  There will still be rainy days, parking tickets, broken dishes, crummy runs, and other disappointments that come my way, but their impact will be minimized by the inventory of joy that I have in my back pocket. 

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