Knowing When To Let Go

 I remember when my sons were much younger and were experiencing the trials and tribulations of learning to ride a bike.  Fortunately for them, push bikes appeared in the Western marketplace.  Instead of learning through dependence upon rickety training wheels, they could practice balancing while scooting around at their leisure.  Before we knew it, they were zooming around and seemed ready to transition to a bike with pedals and brakes.  Although they had shown proficiency on their push bikes, knowing when to move to a "pedal bike" was tricky.  What was harder was knowing when to let go of their seat to allow them to be fully independent and in charge of their own destiny.  Holding on for too long would slow down their progress while letting go before they were ready would lead to heartache (and many bandages).

I feel like this same thinking has been showing up in other areas of my life recently.  The delicate dance of holding on and letting go creates an ebb and flow between progress and reflection, allowing us to take stock of where we stand versus where we are drawn.  Am I where I need to be and are feelings of uncertainty par for the course or are they signs of a need to recalibrate my guidance system?  

Personal experience has shown me that holding on too long often delays the inevitable, and sometimes adds complexity to a decision that would have been easier to make if it were enacted when inner questioning began.  At the same time, it often feels too soon to make a change when we first nudge up against feelings of uncertainty.  Instead, we find ourselves putting our heads down and working harder to make our initial choices still make sense.  Letting go feels like giving up, instead of surrendering which is a very different concept altogether.  

Perhaps we need to reframe letting go as a failure and instead embrace it as growth.  It takes courage to admit the path we are on is not right for us, and to course-correct to where we think we need to be.  And the ability to make a change becomes harder the more ingrained we are in our current narrative.

I will freely admit that there have been a few times when I have decided to let go a tad too early, and conversely when I have held on a beat too long.  Nothing catastrophic took place, but I knew in those moments that I had been off in my judgment.  While there is no clear-cut answer to this dilemma I do believe slowing down to listen to our inner compass makes all the difference.  And while we are listening, being open to the messages that we are receiving, especially the ones that tell us to let go of the bike seat even when we can feel that a speed wobble is imminent.