Speed Bumps

 Earlier this week, a friend and I met for a pre-sunrise dip.  Neither of us could attend the larger group gathering planned for sunrise, so we set our alarms and met while the stars were still glowing in the skies.  I consider myself a morning person, being that once I am awake I tend to be energized for early morning tasks.  This coincides nicely with my enjoyment of cold water dipping as it allows me to be present to witness the glorious start of the day.  It also means that I often arrive at the lake cloaked with frenetic energy, as I tend to cut it close with my arrival time.  This is not done on purpose and is often a side-effect of thinking that I have more time on my hands than I do and underestimating how long the short drive to the water will take.  

On this particular morning, I arrived slightly buzzing as I was once again "just" on time.  My friend had been sitting enjoying the skies before I arrived and greeted me with calm and grounded energy.  I quickly started to set up my gear and peel off my tracksuit, in anticipation of walking into the lake.  She stopped me and suggested that we take a moment to ground ourselves and take in the beauty of our surroundings.  My brain felt like it hit a speed bump.  Slow down you say?  Take a moment to breathe and appreciate where we were and the fact that we had both made the time to be in this moment?  Immediately I felt myself exhale a long breath and slowly began to feel my body soften.  My shoulders slid down from my ears, which was interesting because I hadn't noticed they were perched way up there.  I closed my eyes and allowed myself to pause and listen to the few words of gratitude that she shared, ones that deeply resonated and further served to ground me in the moment.  When I fluttered my eyes open again, it was as if I had arrived in a different scene altogether.  I noticed radiant colours peeking out from the far horizon as the sun began her journey up into the sky.  The sound of the waves seemed to increase in intensity and picked up a steady rhythm of ebb and flow.  And as I prepared to stand and walk into the water I felt like I had actually arrived in the moment, instead of vibrating just above it all.  

What my friend gave me that morning was a gift - the ability to take a very slight pause to slow down my pace and be present in the moment.  Something that I have guided others to do on many occasions, and yet something that I was unable to do myself that morning.  I needed that speed bump to slow me down just enough to fully appreciate what surrounded me.  Since that morning I have tried to notice other points in my days where a speed bump would be handy to encounter.  One of the most glaring spots where a speed bump was needed concerned mealtimes.  I eat most of my meals on my own and have fallen into the habit of having a fork in one hand and my phone in the other.  I enjoy my food but only peripherally, as I am also busy digesting whatever mindless videos pop up while I scroll.  I have started to insert a speed bump at mealtimes by leaving my phone out of arm's reach and setting down my utensils between bites.  These measures don't cause my schedule to be completely thrown off, they simply cause me to slow down my pace so I can fully appreciate the food I have before me.  

As with any change, I am looking at this as a practice not a perfect.  I give myself grace when I find myself speeding along more focused on what's next instead of what's now.  I remind myself that simply adding an intentional breath or two before starting a new task or entering a new space is enough of a speed bump to reset and provide awareness and appreciation for even the most mundane of tasks and moments.

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