Not Everything Means Something

My therapist once told me, "Life does not need to be a make-work project." I remember hearing those words and feeling a bit surprised. Really? If that is the case, why am I feeling so compelled to read book after book dedicated to self-help? Aren't I investing in my well-being by submerging myself deep in the waters of self-discovery? And what if I miss something by not reading these books, listening to these podcasts, and following these gurus?

In my social psychology course, we learned that humans want to find the causes of happenings in our world.  We look for the reasons behind our behaviour, and the behaviour of others, desperate to unravel the meaning behind the whys.  I can attest to this tendency, as I have often found myself caught in a swirl of questions and assumptions when life has thrown me a curve ball.  Inevitably, this exercise has led to exhaustion and frustration because more often than not, there is no clear-cut answer to the question that we are asking, aside from the realization that not everything means something.  

In other words, sometimes things just happen without any sort of deeper meaning or reason behind them.  Sometimes it is best to shrug our shoulders and accept that our understanding will only come much later when we can turn around and look back to see the dots connect.  Until then, instead of pouring energy into more books and resources, we would do better to pour that energy into ourselves.  And not through deep dives into self-help, but instead into deeper dives into self-care.  

Learning what grounds us and brings us back to centre, ensuring our bodies, minds and souls are being nourished, and connecting with communities that hold space for us and support our journey are key practices to return to.  It can be as simple as taking a moment to notice the depth of your breath, or the aroma of your morning tea or coffee before you take that first sip.  Allowing life to ebb and flow and learning to flow along with it is a life-long practice that is worth the effort. 

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