Learning to Play (and enjoy) the Long Game

 As I laced up my runners and set out to begin my first significant long run of my marathon training program, I felt unsettled.  This outing would represent the longest distance I had covered since completing my last marathon in the fall of 2023, and although that had been a great day, I couldn't help but think that was then; this is now.  Although training has felt good this time around, and I am nearing race day with a sense of optimism, there is also a part of me that finds it difficult to relax into longer training efforts.  

I have noticed this lack of patience popping up in other areas of life as well.  In my part-time job and with my ongoing studies, I sometimes find myself wanting to rush forward to the next step or stage, to quickly check off the box beside where I am now, and surge ahead to whatever comes next.  Isn't that what we all aspire to do?  Constantly search and strive to reach the next stage, take the next step, climb up the next rung, so we can quickly assess our surroundings before pushing forward once again, and again and again.

This tendency to be many steps ahead has, at times, served me well.  It has allowed me to make "plans" that I can hold onto and spread out like a safety net to catch me if the situation at hand doesn't seem to be working the way I had hoped.  Feeling like a Plan B is only a flip of a switch away brings me some solace, allowing me to feel comfortable as I stretch outside of my comfort zone.  It also eats up a lot of mental energy and distracts me from the task at hand. Am I ever giving my full attention to what I'm trying to accomplish if I am also thinking about what I can do if and when things go awry?

The practice of being present is not a new concept and is one that I have reflected on in many of my posts.  It is an ongoing work in progress, and Saturday's run provided me with ample time to devote to it.  My goal was 26 kilometers, running from my apartment to my girlfriend's condo across the city.  My mind immediately focused on the end of the run, and was reeling at how far this seemed and all of the ifs and whats that I might encounter along the way.  To try and slow down my thoughts, I decided to bring my focus in closer to where I was, and broke down the run into five 5-kilometer chunks.  I knew where the first 5-kilometer marker would be, and each time my mind tried to think about anything beyond that point, I reminded myself that I was not thinking about anything past that interim finish line.  

It was hard at first.  Getting going on a longer run always feels a bit awkward for me.  I find that it can take me those first five kilometers to settle into a groove that I can then carry forward for the rest of my time on the route.  Adding a new mental focus into the mix did not make those first foot steps feel any smoother or bring my stride into any sort of rhythm any faster.  What it did do was allow me to stop wasting energy on things that didn't require my attention, and that in itself allowed me to relax a bit.  As I crossed from the first 5-kilometer section into the second one, I tried to imagine where this section would take me, and once I had established that, I stayed vigilant in keeping my thoughts within this boundary.  Once again, I noticed that by only allowing my mind to stray a few kilometres ahead of my body, I could remain more relaxed and started to feel myself really easing into the task at hand.  Dare I say, I even started to really enjoy the game of staying present.  

Before I knew it, I was well into my third section of the run and passing the halfway marker.  As these milestones continued to pass, I felt much of the uncertainty and hesitation fall away.  I began to believe in my ability to not only complete this run, but also complete the marathon itself next month.  Reading that, it may seem ridiculous to think that I have been going through my training plan for the past 10 weeks, holding onto doubts about my ability to finish the plan and the race, and perhaps it is.  It is also the honest truth - I have been allowing myself to get so caught up in the ending of the plan, I haven't been fully present for most of what has been leading up to it. 

As I made my way towards the very end of the run, I felt good, smiling at people I passed on the sidewalk and bidding them a good morning.  I had plenty of energy left to give a big hug and kiss to my girlfriend, who had been watching my progress online and who was waiting to welcome me as I triumphantly crossed my finish line that morning.  I felt a sense of pride at what I had managed to accomplish and also a sense of peace.  I had found patience and enjoyment in playing the long game, knowing that the result I was after would be well worth the effort required to get there.  I plan on carrying this wisdom with me as I continue through the next 6 weeks of training and beyond, taking this from the road into other areas of my life where I could benefit from keeping my focus a bit closer to my shoes, allowing the longer-term unknowns to remain until it is time to bring them into view.