Reinvention

As I sit at my desk, staring out the window, trying to collect my thoughts, I am struck by the many transitions and changes that seem to arrive at this time of year.  Summer is slowly drawing to a close, with the light casting longer shadows early in the mornings and sunsets creeping earlier each night.  Schools are preparing to open their doors once again, and there is an underlying sense of routine and responsibilities returning to centre stage. 

While some of these changes may feel welcome and are eagerly anticipated, there is also an accompanying melancholy for the passing of what was.  It is hard to feel the ease of summer sliding by, only to be replaced by the heavier feelings that often come with late fall and winter.  

What is it about this annual shift from summer to fall that feels so hard? One would think that as we get older and experience this over and over again, we would become accustomed to it, yet that doesn't seem to be the case.  It almost feels like the opposite—as if letting go and embracing this change becomes harder each year. 

Perhaps it is the sense that each year moves us closer to an endpoint many of us would rather not contemplate, rather than focusing on the present moment at hand.  How much of our lives do we spend thinking about what's next instead of looking at what is now in front of us?  Would it be easier to move from season to season if we could let go of this future-thinking tendency and simply enjoy what we have right now?

I often find myself planning next steps that lead far away from the present moment, causing me to overlook the beauty and wonder that exist and are available to me now.  Once upon a time, this felt like a safe way to live, anticipating and preparing myself for all outcomes, not allowing anything to potentially throw me off what I felt was my designated path.  How short-sighted I was.  Instead of keeping me safe and on track, it caused me to miss important signposts along the way, indicating places of interest and potential detours that would have served me well. 

While I could beat myself up for this, I choose not to.  I choose to embrace this transition in the seasons and in my approach to change with an open mind and heart, remaining present and open to all of the unknowns that await.